Welcome to A Guide to Lasting Rivalry!

Jason and Amy justify the continuing 10 dollar a month hosting fee of AGTLR.com by posting their second episode of the year! We talk about our worst jobs ever!

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This one has two dog stories: One a poignant illustration of difficult choices, and the other about some dumb dog who ran away and thought it would be a swell idea.

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The AGTLR gang (Jason Amy and Tigger) are back with special guest: Jason’s Wife! (Also known as Amanda). Jason and Amy celebrate the show’s 1 year anniversary (but it isn’t actually). Amy becomes a nurse. Our grandma dies. And Jason tells horrible jokes.

EnJoY!

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Amy and Jason… Ok, it’s been a while since I posted. I don’t remember what we talked about. I don’t want to ruin it for you guys (or maybe… I’m 2 lazy?), so the note section will be donated to a picture of a majestic egret.

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Me and Amy drive home from Dad’s retirement party and dish on the ceremony. Also, you can hear my dad’s boss(es) laud him with well deserved praise!

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The show starts with Amy revealing that she has to get more TB tests (and not because she drinks cow blood).  We discuss our super talented friend Brenna’s (https://www.facebook.com/LottieHop) awesome handicraft (below)!  Finally, Amy talks about the best Illuminati prank ever.

Amy and Jason discuss how shitty their cars are. Also, we discuss the dangers of hypnotism and other things.

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and here’s a frog wrestler guy

Me and Amy discuss her harrowing visit to a clinic where hygiene is optional, and the legend of the guy who flipped people off by a Mexican restaurant in Selma. Also, Amy and I eat Cookie Butter and we discuss the  foul gully we’re neighbors with.

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In this episode, I tell Amy about my heroic confrontation with a homeless pervert, my idea for a project about our home state of California, and offend Amy with my egregious use of the C word.

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I think other things happen also!

I start the podcast by telling Amy about my weird dream. Then we talk about other things. And then we find this awesome bag of old paperwork and it makes for great fodder. I find this weird little pamphlet from the ’70s about my gestation. If I’d read it as a fetus, I’d have made more of an effort to absorb more selenium in the womb, Sigh.

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Amy starts drawing a picture of a disfigured individual, which can be seen below.

Also, we talk about how frightening Juggalos are, and whether or not they qualify as a gang. If you’re afraid to talk about a group of people, what does that make them?

Lastly, we play a game of Voices.

YOINK.

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It’s a special AGTLR featuring me and Amy’s spouses. We play a game of Lightning Tableaus – Tulsamugs.com (go to the site to play along!) edition. Me and Amy sacrifice the dignity of people’s arrest photos and make up stories about how they lost their virginity to footballs and stuff.

It’s an AGTLR Christmas for all to enjoy!

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It’s almost Christmas, and I’m stuck with the Obamacare night shift at work. Amy shares Justin’s greatest culinary achievement, and we remember one of mom’s greatest faux pas.

Also, Amy describes a hilarious new show in a game that I didn’t prepare for.

Here’s the rude form letter email Amy got from Roaman’s

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Amy and Jason get on the subject of depressing holiday parties, the emasculation of the holidays, and celebrity scents.

And cemeteries.

And binoculars.

LOOK! DEAD PEEPS!

Diets can suck a dick, especially since me and Amy decide to go on one. Fuck diets. They suck with the raging intensity of two dozen chihuahuas.

Also, my favorite band was playing this podunk town for 10 bucks and I missed it because I am insufferably lazy.

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Me and Amy talk about our embarrassing, traumatic first dates. I think mine was way worse. Also, we talk about our first dates with our spouses. Those are way less embarrassing.

Also, pictures of Poppy and Tigger. Yay!

Poppy and Tigger

Amy and Jason discuss their week… and yes, urine makes a cameo. Brown urine, in fact. Later, Amy and Jason discuss their thoughts on backrubs. Amy then coats herself in sebaceous goo.

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Yep. I give it up. My most horrible secret is out. I was Eddie Murphy’s “Buckwheat” for Halloween. Not recently, though.

We talk about our childhood halloween experiences, including how fucking racist and backwards Kingsburg was in the late 80’s.

Also, shitty snack cakes pre-bitten by a surly douche bear.

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People. People. Here it is. The TRUE first episode of AGTLR. While the quality is TURRIBLE, the content is great! Well, I’m assuming it is. Because I’m in it.

So listen to it! Or don’t SERIOUSLY GO EAT A DICK.

Thanks for listening!

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In this episode, we talk about broken digits, ripped out toenails and funnel cakes.  Also, we talk about dieting and how much better it is to not diet.

And this picture

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Justin (Amy’s hubby) is BACK and we discuss MANY topics! Amy and I discover that we both love Empire of the Sun! We bond and it gets uncomfortable.

Also, we participate in a discussion of the many interesting aspects of the following topics:

Fashion

Politics

and

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In this episode, we welcome our first guest to majestic Studio D. Amy’s husband Justin drops by to add a dash of spicy Latin flair to our discussions, for you see, he is half Mexican. Topics include Voices, shitheads of the freeway and Van Dyke facial hair

(This isn’t Justin)

Anthony Van Dyck

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Join Amy and Jason as they discuss dreams, brainworms and oppressive breastfeeding lecturers.

AND TOP SECRET GOOGLE L*** PROJECT

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In this episode we discuss getting burnt on a Nintendo transaction, a cynical caterpillar and dreams. DREAMS. The weird ones.

AND AMY WINS A TROPHY FOR JUST SHOWING UP

Amy and Jason take a journey down the backroads of Kingsburg. Things take a strange turn when they get lost and lose contact with their family and end up starting a new life as carnies. Or maybe not.

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In this episode, I explain the reason the episodes are out of order since Amy was such a venomous harpy about it.  Jeez Amy, chill the fuck out. We also invite a special guest: Tigger, my mom’s cat who stowed away and listened to us. Amy tells us about her horrible job, including sad religious hymns that bring comfort to the olds. Additionally, I sing the ORIGINAL lyrics to The Beverly Hillbillies! It’s fucked up!

TO TO TO A FALLACY AND JESUS COMES TODAY

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Amy and Jason discuss their favorite topic: TOPICS! Indulge in coffee talk, character voices and other things! Laugh if you wish!

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Me and Amy wander the aisles of a grocery store I used to work at. Nothing has changed. No really – not even the milk! It was a truly awful place and I’m glad I moved on. Enjoy the podcast as we skewer all the lame and bizzare stuff we see.

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